he's just not that into you

we darted off the scanty gateway aisle just to be told "he's just not that into you" so back off...(*just kidding*)

(that was the line i was trying to put in my head right after we watched that movie "he's just not that into you" in gateway mall...i was with an office friend then...so not that someone told me that very same lines but at the back of my mind, it's what happened - it's just how we hurried off to catch up that movie).

anyways...

i think it's ok to share some of my virtual secrets...well, not that there's some libel case involved or sex scandal or whatever abominable or something in it, but today, i feel like sharing some things...except, just be discreet haha...no name calling in case i know you and you want to leave comments.

(what have i eaten today? well, nothing, and that's exactly the problem...or maybe just one of those days of the month? hmmmm, whatever, there's no stopping me of sharing this!)

but wait, maybe because i'm in a dilemma right now. AS IN!

will i go or not? (to my Diploma in Industrial Relations graduation rites, that is)

anyways, it's no big deal...this is not the masters yet. it's more of a recognition for having finished 21 units but since i'm done with the academics portion - a 39-unit-masters, i am thinking it's no point attending to this one but instead, i just need to pass the exam this august then attend my masteral degree graduation on april 2010.

anyways, back to virtual secrets.

i fall in love once...or maybe twice or thrice (that is not the point now but yes, my heart is, afterall, a human heart and not a wood carving or some kind of a stone). who cares? hahaha!

had this friend whom i "dated" online - i know him only through a colleague before. yes, online because we never met in person...ever! not that i don't date face-to-face, in fact i do... mostly with friends...don't ever think it's pathetic (though i couldn't help but agree a bit...hahaha well, never mind).

anyhow, everything felt so right (for me at least) up until things went awry (i guess things go that way always - if it wouldn't go right, it would definitely go wrong). and thought that he actually was serious about "it" i.e., "our virtual relationship" which i never thought would have commenced in the first place had it not been meant to happen...'twas like too impossible? but nevertheless, i believed it then...and my feelings were true. (now, i want to puke sorry.)

obviously, we (myself and let's call him - BIG X) didn't end up together. (fortunately hahaha! not that i hated him. NO.)

as i was saying, we were introduced and eventually, instead of involving the "match maker" we just "dated" casually until we kind of already fall in "love" or "lust" for each other (i guess it's how dates go except if it's online, it's kind of different) in short, our case was different - since it was an online thing, i never thought it would work out. (but hell, some does, you know and this is why i had so much faith.)

we chatted, we talked over the phone, we connected by the help of webcam (what are gadgets for, right?) and i could see BIG X was really into me...until one day...

something's changed!

a third party...or i was just totally wrong...

i was so naive and innocent then, i believed in all he said until one day, the match maker revealed the truth - BIG X is married! the saddest part is, he got married when we were supposed to be planning for "our marriage" and i knew he was married after a month or 2 he's been married. meaning, all the time we were "together" he's been with this woman...and when he mentioned that he'd be out of the country for a business trip when he was supposed to see me, he was actually marrying someone else! interesting, isn't it? eventually i found out - based on his version - that he was forced to hook up with the woman his father wanted him to marry(talk to my hand, liar! what are you, 10 years old?!)

that's when i learned a big lesson.

and i want to quote samantha of sex and the city: "you know it's so interesting...you can tell a man, "i hate you" you have the best sex of your life...but tell him "i love you", you'll probably never see him again."

oppps sorry, i bore you. i'm not a good story-teller, am i? couldn't actually tell something with sense if it regards heart issues. wehehe (puke!)

now, i'm pretty fine except that BIG X is coming back to "try disturb" me again. or maybe it's just me that is disturbed by his "VIRTUAL PRESENCE"...whatever!

hell, no! not anymore because i now know when a man is really into you...and i'm now a pro when it comes to signs of he's just not that into you thingy.

by the way, will i go? :p